Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
How external is "for external use only"?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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