I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
