I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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