Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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