Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
