I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
