I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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