never play flip cup with pint glasses
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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