i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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