please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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