She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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