I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
