When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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