She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
