when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
