I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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