its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Boobs speak an international language.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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