So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
