operation have a gay friend backfired
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
