Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize