How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
