SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
