Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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