Walk of Shame. In a state park.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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