Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
