Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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