Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
