once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize