hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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