My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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