I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
zippers are such a cool invention
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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