what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
