I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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