This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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