gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
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Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
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I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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