He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
