What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
