I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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