do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
