i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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