I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize