i just google imaged poop.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
