I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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