it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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