my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
