Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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