My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
