im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
