It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
