Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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