It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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