I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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