Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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