What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
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i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize