Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
