I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
