Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
