I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
